Часть 4

Day forty-four: I've been trying to find a cure for this disease for the last two days, but nothing. I've already reread all my medical books and torn out a few locks of hair out of desperation. Right now I'm trying to do everything I can. With other healthy crew members, we help the sick as much as we can. We wash their bloody clothes, spoon feed them meat, give them bandages and all that, but nothing helps them. We dumped 4 bodies in the ocean again today. I can't look at them, they are all my friends and watching them slowly rot away is unbearable. I'm starting to think about poking my eyes out so I don't have to see it all, but I realize it won't help. There is such a terrible smell on the ship that all the memories come back to my mind. I try to fight it with alcohol...but I realize it's not the answer. Day fifty: I tried to tell them that this was a disaster and they would have to tell the government about this disease somehow, but no one listened to me. They just don't care. There's less than half the people who were on the ship in the first place. God, the children, they're dying worse than the adults. They cry and they cry and they can't stop screaming. They only become silent when their heart stops beating. It's been a couple hours since I wrote the lines above. I realized I was hallucinating… Day fifty-one: My whole body aches, I can't even get out of bed. Staring at the ceiling with my eyes half-open I can taste the horrible taste of rot and blood in my mouth. Now I'm one of them...when I'm completely rotten I'll be thrown into the ocean like them, like useless garbage that stinks. My legs are starting to bruise at a rapid pace, and I'm starting to wipe the blood from the old wounds again. My bed is covered in blood, soon someone will come to my quarters to feed me and change my bedding, but I don't want to eat. I haven't eaten since yesterday, I've had enough blood in my mouth to make me full. At this rate, I'll soon die not of this disease but of hunger. Day fifty-two: I can't even move anymore, much less write, so I guess this is the end...God bless my parents and rest in peace all my goals and dreams.” Tears rolled down my cheeks at the doctor's last words. All the other pages of the notebook were covered in his blood but it didn't stop me from continuing to write.  "Day ???: There's at least 15 to 10 people left on the ship, including me. I don't know when we'll get there, but dad said soon...the smell of rot is driving me crazy but I'm just trying not to die." I dropped the notebook on the floor and continued crying so hard that my face was all red and swollen…